Anyone out there ever have problems with anterior ankle impingement? According to the internet, anterior ankle impingement occurs when scar tissue in the synovial joint at the junction of the tibia and the talus gets pinched upon dorsiflexion. Or more accurately described as, "It really hurts when I flex my foot." I don't know if it's exacerbated by trekking in shoes that should have been thrown out years ago, flat feet or my age. I used to think it was because I laced my shoes too tight. Whatever, whatever. All it means is I can't go walking today. I've been sitting around with icepacks on my ankles to try to keep the swelling down. And when I do get up to walk around, my insteps - where my arches would be if I had any - feel so bruised all I can do is toddle around on the outsides of my feet.
Yes, I push myself too far. My broken down feet are just the latest example of how my passion for a thing sometimes exceeds my common sense. But I like this trait about me too. I've never learned moderation. I throw myself body and soul into everything I do: work, writing, relationships, hiking. All I know is how to live out loud. A recent argument with my step-daughter brought this point into focus. If you want to label or condemn me because I'm not who you expected me to be, or who you thought I should be, then I invite you to reevaluate your expectations. I can't be anyone else.
Yes, I push myself too far. My broken down feet are just the latest example of how my passion for a thing sometimes exceeds my common sense. But I like this trait about me too. I've never learned moderation. I throw myself body and soul into everything I do: work, writing, relationships, hiking. All I know is how to live out loud. A recent argument with my step-daughter brought this point into focus. If you want to label or condemn me because I'm not who you expected me to be, or who you thought I should be, then I invite you to reevaluate your expectations. I can't be anyone else.
I've been reading the book Wild by Cheryl Strayed. My mom sent me the book after she saw a news story about Cheryl and the period of her life when she hiked the PCT. I won't spoil the book for you if you haven't read it. Just to say that I could be her. I'm reading her words and feeling her story and it's me on that trail. Scaling mountains and crossing deserts in every extreme. Breaking through every safety net just to stand in the place where fear, loss and hate demand restitution from hope, prayer and good intentions. Cheryl Strayed doesn't know I exist. But in truth, we're telling the same story.
I'm not quite finished.
